People can't stop skewering dubious Trump claim that war is '95 percent done'

On Sunday, CNN pundit Scott Jennings posted a lengthy tweet in which he attempted to explain that President Donald Trump's deal to end the war with Iran is 95 percent "done," saying that he'd been told that the first phase was complete, but that a second phase still needed to address issues like the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz and the Iranian nuclear program. As anyone who has been following the war's events unfold knows, however, arguably no two sticking points are larger than Hormuz and the nuclear question, making Jennings' assertion appear somewhat ridiculous.

"Insider reporting from an unnamed White House official says the Iran deal is '95% done,' responded pollster Frank Luntz later that day. "The remaining 5% of negotiations are focused on Iran opening the Strait of Hormuz and turning over all nuclear material."

With this simple statement, Luntz laid bare the absurdity of Jennings' claim, and by Monday, the internet had taken that absurdity and run with it.

"My plan to marry Scarlett Johansson is 95% done," declared one retweet. "The remaining 5% will focus on me meeting Scarlett Johansson, and then persuading her to marry me."

"I am 95% done with a deal to buy a new house," said Economist Middle East correspondent Gregg Carlstrom, offering a more practical example. "The remaining 5% of negotiations are focused on the price and whether the owners are actually willing to sell."

"I’m 95% done with dinner," announced Angry Staffer. "I just have to decide what I’m eating, how I’m cooking it, and what store I want to shop at."

Or as actor Bradley Whitford, perhaps best known for his time in the series The West Wing, jested, "Thrilled to report that my deal to play the new James Bond is '95% done.'”

There were many, many more examples, and while hilarious, they speak to a trend that has become increasingly persistent over the course of the conflict: Americans do not believe that progress is being made, nor that they can believe Trump or his allies' assertions about it. Former CIA Director John Brennan said as much explicitly on Sunday, saying, "I tend to believe Iran more than I do Donald Trump, because he could not acknowledge the truth even when it is — he's slapped in the face with it repeatedly. And it's clear that he is flailing right now. He's trying to figure out how he's going to get out of this debacle that he has created."

In the meantime, another poster is 95 percent done with her housework, and just has to "dust, vacuum, wash the dishes, do 3 loads of laundry, and make the beds."

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